♡

Dear Grandpa,

You'll always be that charming gentleman in my heart.

It feels so painful not having you with me anymore but I'm glad that you're in a better place now and no longer suffering. You have been really strong for the past 3 months and I'm so proud of you for pulling through. I will always remember you and everything you've done for me. Since I was a baby up till now when I'm 20. You've always been a dear to me. Thank you for cycling me to and from school. Thank you for bringing me to the playground and sitting on the see-saw with me. Thank you for carrying me. Thank you for buying sweets (maom balls) and tidbits and carrot juice for me and the rest of the cousins. I will never forget how you used to work night shifts at the hotel and coming back only in the morning and I would see you sleeping soundly on your bed. I will never forget how you would sit in front of the TV with your headphones on watching some badass english movie. I will never forget how you were so stubborn by refusing to stop smoking in the living room and would just leave the ashes in the ashtray on the table next to you. You could even fall asleep while smoking or watching TV. Thank you for introducing me to your fellow uncle friends. Thank you for taking me to breakfasts that enabled me to find my love for curry, prata and spicy foods. Thank you for giving me 3 yakults at one go just because I was a little brat but ended up with fever after that. Thank you for letting me have my first sip of beer when I was a child which caused me to puke and fall in deep sleep. Thank you for introducing me to the band ABBA when I was a toddler where I would sing and dance along to their music videos. I will never forget the first time you had dementia but subsequently and unknowingly making us laugh with your random quirky moments. I will never forget you waking up in the wee hours of the morning dragging your feet to the kitchen to wash up thinking that it's already time for breakfast. I will never forget you sitting at the armchair and playing with my correction tape while I was asleep. I will never forget that time when it was 3 or 4am in the morning and you asked me to make coffee for you and I did, but forgot to put sugar in it and you told me it wasn't sweet. I will never forget how you started becoming picky with your foods but when it comes to pork trotters vinegar or curry chicken that Grandma made, you would eat an extra serving of rice. Thank you for trying your best to quit smoking because you know that everyone cares for you and wants nothing but the best for your health. Thank you for not finding me a nuisance when I always disturb you by waving hello to you. You never fail to wave back at me no matter how frail you were. Thank you for playing along with me by putting your thumbs up after you've finished the food in your mouth so that I can continue feeding you. Thank you for remembering my name and calling out to me even after your first stroke. Thank you for using that little bit of energy that you have to grab my hand. Thank you for trying your best to answer my questions even though they were just a word or two. You are the only human being I allow to reply with one word answer. Thank you for trying to smile at my camera when I ask you to. I love you so much, Grandpa. I wish you could come back so that I can tell you how much I love you in person. I'm sorry for not having the guts to say it because I'm not expressive in person. I will never forget how your hands and face feel like. Please let me dream of you soon and don't forget me. I hope you know how important you were and still are to me. I miss you a lot, Grandpa. We will remember you in our hearts forever, go on and rest in peace safely in God's hands.

♥♥♥

Your Granddaughter,

Alicia Ho