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Sometimes having my mind blown up seems like a better idea than all the ridiculous thoughts running through my head. Sometimes I feel like I have to beg for peoples' time and I feel downright pathetic. Even the people closest to me, I feel like a beggar. Not a beggar for money but for time. Maybe it's karma because of how I managed to ever so easily brush people off before. I'm the sort who needs to work and constantly get busy so that I won't have any time to think. Maybe I should have just worked till uni starts. Sometimes I feel like a child but silently crying for attention. I love being alone but I don't want to be left alone. I know I shouldn't expect anything from anyone at all. But the question 'Who the f* was there when you were upset? Alone? Pissed off? Annoyed? Needed someone when your first priority wasn't there?' constantly bugs me to no end. People always say 'With no expectations comes no disappointments.' Well let me just give you a heads-up that that's utter bullshit. And if you're thinking of expecting something, make sure you jolly well do something in return if not let's just save the time. Because we're just receiving and returning, and the cycle continues. I've learn that life isn't a wish-granting factory.